Trophy Bass I
1997-10-04 Staff | How can you improve on perfection? The perfect piece of crap.
|
|
Ron Bentaloni's Doom
1900-01-01 Staff |
|
|
Matt Harding's Army Men RTS
1900-01-01 Staff | Um... you are little green army guys... yeah... gimmicks... all great games rely on gimmicks... any game that relies on traps and ambushes to create a sense of "AI" is doomed to failure... Just for fun we melted the CD with a magnifying glass. Save your money and buy a sandbox and some real little green army men.
|
|
Lar's Von Trier's Trespasser: Jurassic Park
1900-01-01 Staff | It took the combined resources of three of the most powerful men in the world, but someone has finally captured the true spirit and amazing fun of crate stacking. For everyone who's ever dreamed of putting one box directly on top of another, but couldn't because... Maybe because they didn't have any boxes I guess. Or maybe they were too old, or too young, and couldn't lift a box high enough to actually put it on top of another box. For all these people, and also people without any arms, your time has come to experience the thrill that, until now, has been the exclusive domain of menial laborers.
Irony points: the creator of Schindler's list makes a game where you run around in a perpetual state of nazi saluting. Mein leiben...
|
|
Dr. Rock's Learn to Speak French
1900-01-01 Staff | I swear to you that this is more fun than Trespasser or Klingon Honor Guard. I enjoyed this a whole lot, and at the end I was able to insult the world's most hated people in their mother tongue. Can be frustrating at first, so play it on the easy level: Learn to Speak English.
|
|
Captain Casey's Half-Life
1900-01-01 Staff | Hands-down, the game of the year. Beautiful, genre-defining, genre-busting action from start to finish. Maybe the greatest game ever made. Maybe the greatest game that ever WILL be made. We'd like to think that the simultaneous release of Half-Life and resignation of the entire Daikatana development staff is not a coincidence.
|
|
Michael Peck's Balls of Steel
1900-01-01 Staff | That's what the ladies call 'em.
|
|
Andrei Tarkovskii's Operational Art of War
1900-01-01 Staff | War game of the Year? All the pieces finally together? Fun? YES! YES! YES! No complaints. About the game, sure we have other complaints... like we do the Cleveland Indians keep blowing money on hitters and don't get a #1 pitcher? Who thinks Albert Belle could help a clubhouses spirit?
|
|
The Almighty Fucking Lord's Baseball Mogul
1900-01-01 Staff | What in the hell is wrong with people?
What seperates man from animal? Our ability to mock other in pain.
What sepeates men from women? A penis/hole where your brains could leak out...
What seperates cats from dogs? Self pleasure by licking/Self pleasure by humping strangers legs.
What seperates Americans from the British?
We don't play sissy sports management games! Damint, be a real American hate this game! While Football (The Indians call it soccer) Manager sweeps the European kids, we play games here in the states where we actually control the action. Don't be sissies, don't reverse the Boston Tea Party, Demand your control! Death to all sports management games!
Foreign purchases of this game are welcome.
|
|
Jon Bruno's FreeLancer
1900-01-01 Staff |
|
|
|
