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Welcome To Daikatana Little Theatre 2000-04-27 Erik | We may not even review the damn crazy thing. Instead, we're
very proud to present this interpretive reenactment of John Romero's recent visit to the PlanetDaikatana forums. |
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| John Romero Form Letter 2000-04-25 Chet | We have confirmation from others who received the below email.
Romero first sent them a personal email and then sent this email to a select few.
Thanks to Dunbar
After the read join us in the Daikatana
Forum |
| To all of
you,
Thank you very much for taking the time to write me such nice emails about
your first impressions of Daikatana based off the demo we recently
released. Many of you are aware of the negativity that's generated toward
this game on various forums on the internet, and a lot of that is due to
the majority of people out there having a warped image of me, the game,
and my company Ion Storm.I don't think I'm any kind of rock
star or gaming god, that is ridiculous.
All I am is someone who has a red-hot passion for playing and creating FUN
games. You might not know this, but I have been making games for 21 years
now (!), that's how dedicated I am to this industry and my career. Many
times, my interest in what I like to play does not coincide with what
might be the hot subgenre of the day, such as today's military-based FPS
titles. I just finished playing Soldier of Fortune about 30 minutes ago
and had a really fun time with the game, but I truly enjoy games based in
fantasy of some sort with elements of sci-fi mixed in. That's why I make
the games I make and all I can do is hope like hell that a lot of other people out
there like what I like.
It was very difficult for me, creating Daikatana and growing a
company at
the same time. We had a lot of problems and spent a lot of money, but in
the end I finally got my game out and I personally love the hell out of
Daikatana and I hope all of you enjoy the full version as much I do. We
are about to release Daikatana N64 and Gameboy Color Daikatana
(Zelda-style) soon and they look to be high quality products on their
respective platforms as well. In addition to this, just around the corner
we have Warren Spector's "Deus Ex" and Tom Hall's "Anachronox" -- the
other two major titles that we've been developing for the past three
years. No one bashes those games because we kept silent about them until
recently -- Daikatana took the brunt of the PR coming out too early. Live
and learn, definitely. Word of mouth generates sales, as well as good
online and print reviews of the game. Thanks to all of you for spreading
the good word about Daikatana.... but I'd like to ask you to help me
combat some of the gross unprofessionalism we have in the gaming community. Every
time a new user reads something negative about the game, whether it's in a forum thread or
on a news site, there's a potential of changing that person's decision to play the game
forever. Look at what happened to SiN:
if everyone had bought the game, installed the first patch, then played
it, there wouldn't have been 10% of the bad perceptions of the game (it's
a great game after you patch it). I'm not saying wait for the first patch
of Daikatana at all, because I think the initial version of Daikatana is
just what I intended to create -- but there are some insanely negative
sites out there that are just trying to aggressively tear the game down.
http://www.dailyradar.com is
the worst offender right now and they seem to
be barely beginning their online campaign of destruction against
Daikatana, myself and Ion Storm. Right there on the front page at the top
is a link to the most awful article I've read about my game. It's almost
unbelievable, and they're supposed to be a professional, major news site.
If you would email them and state your opinion of Daikatana, I would
be
ever grateful.
Thanks again to all of you for writing me... you took the time to do
something that you didn't have to do. You are the people I write my games
for; people who love action, detail and a good story; people who know
quality when they see it and when they feel it.
Your humble servant,
John Romero
Ion Storm - 64m3 D3516n3r
Daikatana: Done!
romero@ionstorm.com,romero@apple2.com
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| A Quick Take On the Daikatana Demo 2000-04-23 Chet | Worth every year of waiting and every hour of downloading. |
| The
Daikatana demo clearly shows why it has taken so many years for Daikatana to be completed.
The game is so feature rich that it even comes with a built-in review generator.
Here is Hiro, your character in Daiktana, saving me the
time of writing my own short review.
If you have problems with that file try this one (same sound).
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| We Attack the Brits 2000-04-21 Chet | The story of the old man and this link that can be found here. |
| While we are brothers, erik claims to be a
Jew, whereas the rest of the family is Christian. Since his people killed Christ and won't
eat a ham, Easter is ruined before it even starts at our house.
So when the Old Man was especially cranky yesterday, I blamed it on the upcoming tragedy
of Easter at the Murrays. I was wrong. The Old Man had gotten worked up over this link while browsing Evil Avatar. The Old Man may hate erik and the other
Jews but that doesn't come close to his hatred of the British.
He was baffled by the link. Were they calling him mindless? Did they think all gamers were
sheep? Did they think stealing IBM's ads was creative? Was this supposed to sell games? He
wasn't sure what the exact message was but he was pretty sure it was anti-American. He
told us if we wanted our slice of the Easter lamb cake we needed to come up with a reply
to their site.
Erik and I came up with about 50 vague response but the Old Man thought they were all
fruity and un-American. He took it in his own hands and came up with
this
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| Tribes 2 Marketing Machine Tips Over, Explodes 2000-04-17 Erik | We read about this in Kerrang!. |
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 Addressing the popular complaint that Tribes 1 didn't rock enough, somebody
who actually gets paid to make these decisions today wiped their ass with, lit on fire,
then flushed down the toilet an undisclosed amount of Sierra's money by hiring Motley Crue
to help the company develop Tribes 2. Here is an honest-to-God excerpt from what
appears to be a legitimate press release:Motley Crue, currently in studio recording their next album "New
Tattoo," will offer one of their forthcoming singles to be featured on the TRIBES 2
soundtrack. The song, which has not yet been titled, will also be heard on the band's
approaching summer 2000 "Maximum Rock" tour and on the new album, due out June
20th. In addition to this feature song, Motley Crue will provide exclusive in game sound
effects, with selected guitar and drum loops.
"We're fortunate to have
this opportunity to work with the members of Motley Crue and Motley
Records /Beyond Music on this promotion," said Jim Veevaert, vice president of marketing for
Sierra Studios. "Motley Crue's musical style and edge will really compliment the action and
gameplay found in TRIBES 2."
"Providing music
for a game like Tribes 2 is a natural progression for
our band, it's another medium for us to share our music
with a new audience," commented Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue. "Games are a growing
form of entertainment, and this is an opportunity for us take another step into an
environment of new technology and forward thinking."
What is the "natural progression for our band"
that game developer Nikki Sixx is speaking of? I think video game soundtracks are a
twenty-first century cyber-waypoint on a band's progression from filling stadiums to
playing for free at your local rib burn-off.
Not only is the world's remaining population of Motley Crue fans tiny, they all work
for Raven. So they've already heard of Tribes 2, Mr. Jim Veevaert. As long as
you've decided to target unrelated niche markets and address criticisms no one was making,
maybe you could do something for me and Chet: While we were entirely satisfied with
Tribes' rockin' edginess, we noticed that at no point during the game did our mouths
spontaneously fill with beef jerky. Could this be fixed for Tribes 2? Tony
says he'd buy a copy if the vehicle physics were programmed by Whitesnake. Or if the
game was delivered to your door by Whitesnake driving one of those hot dog shaped cars
like they have in bologna commercials on the Elian box. |
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| Origin To Drag Entire Industry Down With It 2000-04-14 Erik | We received mail from everyone about this. Including LordBritish from his hotmail, rocketmail, portalofevil, and fatchicksinpartyhats accounts. Thanks to all of you. |
| I haven't been this upset since my applications to be a
Diablo 2 beta tester and Neil Garland
Swanson-Chrisman's boyfriend were both rejected on the same day. Origin, a
company widely known for personally screwing me out of fifty bucks with Ultima IX, a game
in which programming errors battle each other gladiator-style for the privilege of
crashing my computer, has posted the following information on their website:
We’re excited
and enthused about the upcoming publish of Ultima
Online: Renaissance and we sincerely hope
you’ll enjoy all the great systems and updates we’ve bundled together in this
new package. However, the changes and features
included in Ultima Online: Renaissance are some of the most complex and elaborate changes
we’ve published since the game was released,
and because of this, we’ve decided to delay the publish of Ultima Online: Renaissance
until we are secure in delivering a quality gaming experience to our customers.
While we can delay the release of Ultima Online:
Renaissance to our servers, we cannot delay the retail release, and thus you may see the
new UO: Renaissance box on the shelves of your neighborhood software store now. For our new players, we hope this very short delay will provide ample
time to experience and explore the world of Britannia before you settle in to enjoy all
that Renaissance has to offer.
 In these two short
paragraphs, Origin has effectively ended what will someday be known as the golden age of
games. They've broken the sacred bond of trust between gamer and gaming
mega-corporation: that there is actually a game in the box you're purchasing.
And the reason for the delay? The features are "some of
the most complex and elaborate changes we've published." In other words,
programming games is hard. No shit, Origin. That's why we pay you to
do it. Did you think it was your staff's imaginative brilliance that drove
sales? I'll let you fancy pants "designers" in on a little secret: a
retard could come up with the concept of hitting an Orc with a hammer. We gamers
just need someone to do the mundane gruntwork of banging out the million lines of code it
takes to make that happen. In other words, when you're done writing Ultima Online 2,
could you send Designer Dragon over to mow my lawn?
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| Positive Thought Of The Week 2000-04-13 Chet | Once a week we will take a break from our bitterness to bring you
some SalaryMan Murray style positive thoughts. |
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We get a ton of spam. We hate it. But it has all
been worth it because it ultimately resulted in the following information from Andrey Shishkin. I don't think you need to
look any further for the reason that we lost the Cold War to Mother Russia.
Subject: message for acquaintance.
Hi!
This message concerns a new idea about printed production.
A new kind of goods. Such goods did not exist earlier.
It not the book, not a magazine, not a newspaper.
It is the new goods basically for children, but not only.
It is new fresh idea for publishing business.
It is the convenient goods for shop of online trade.
Idea on sale.
Please look an investments to the message.
This Example in a format .GIF, a means of viewing - Internet
Explore.
I shall to you be grateful for your remarks.
In further, I shall offer you two superscenarios,
for children and for adult.
Thanks.
Andrey Shishkin
author.
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Graphic included in Mail
Polik System in Action
Click for detail
Elian
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| Plan To Reunite Elian, Daikatana On Hold 2000-04-12 Erik | Plus some misc. crap I've been meaning to tell you. |
| One month
after reputedly going gold, Daikatana still isn't out. Elian sure is cute. Why
would John Romero put him through this? With his girly hair and child-bearing hips,
I'd think Romero would be more sensitive to the suffering of children.
Should Elian be tried as an adult and put to death? Jesus, I don't know.
Yes, I guess.
 Speaking
of Daikatana, here's the first real review of the
almost-available N64 version. And here's a quote:
The mission goals are absurd; something on the lines
like, find key and then exit.
Before the firing incident, I took THQ to task for publishing some
terrible screenshots from their upcoming terrible Evil Dead game. I thought the
monsters weren't scary enough. Some readers who read the page while sitting on their
fat asses at THQ felt I wasn't offering enough constructive criticism and dared me to come
up with something scarier. Okay, here:
Goldie Hawn's puffy eye stares out of her ruined head. See THQ, that's the
centipedes-crawling-down-my-urethra sensation I'm looking for.
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| I Apologise 2000-04-07 Erik | I'm really, really, really sorry. |
| Our UGO floor manager and
shift supervisor both agreed I could come back to work if I publicly aplogised for all the
bad things I've done and, especially, said and if I didn't spell apologise the saucy
British way. I agreed to one of their demands and I'm now back on the job.
Who'd have thought we'd all live to see the day where I'm gainfully employed and
Lord British is collecting unemployment as a bold first step towards collecting welfare?
Lord British
Pack up your crowns and be out by lunch |
Princess Social Services Caseworker
"Did you try to write a buggy adventure game last week? ... Uh, huh.
Did you try this week?" |
During my "vacation", I moved to Minnesota where I lived on the
res in Cloque. I wanted to be near some of the Native American activists I met when
I shared a prison cell with Leonard Peltier last year. Like Rambo in one of the
Rocky or Rambo movies or Dolph Lundgren or Mr. T definitely in one of the Rocky movies, I
felt I needed to get back to my roots in order to train for my fight with Jason Hall.
After replacing my shiny designer tracksuits with mud, my MuscleTech Hydroxycut fat
burning shakes with brackish, foul smelling reservation water, and my neon purple
handweights with brightly painted rocks, I was able to concentrate on getting a good
primitive workout. I'm now in the best shape of my life, and I'm optimistic about my
chances in the fight. Thanks to my supremely conditioned body and improved reflexes,
I'm one hundred percent certain I'll be able to live through the savage beating Jason Hall
is going to give me. Here's a picture of Mr. Hall to remind you of just how gigantic
he actually is:
Sources tell me that's a million-billion pounds he's curling. With one arm.
While on the res, I became interested in American Indian politics, and
keenly interested in calling American Indian political figures fags, and I started a
website to do just that. I'd give you the URL but I'm currently in negotiations with
IGN to host it. Rest assured that my newfound hatred of the Oglala Lakota Sioux
Tribal Council will not dampen my zeal to stick it to millionaire gaming dilettante J.
Romero.
I'd ask you all what you did on my break, but I already know.
You mailed me about the Lord "I'm fired? Well, that's the last straw.
I quit!" British situation. Thanks for that. One sharp-eyed reader
called Bob D. found this excellent quote from Obi Wan team member Ryan Kaufman in the new
issue of PC Gamer:
The number one favorite thing to do right now is to
Force push a bunch of crates or flower boxes down some stairs, wiping out a bunch of hapless Battle
Droids. Man, it don't get better than that. They bounce and tumble end over end; it's
really, really amazing.
Let me get this straight: your game doesn't get better than pushing some
crates around? Is this the line to not buy Obi Wan? Excellent, I'm in the
right line.
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| Positive Thought Of The Week 2000-03-24 Chet | Once a week we will take a break from our bitterness to bring you
some SalaryMan Murray style positive thoughts. |
| We could
have chosen Lord British gloating about how Ultima Ascension was
debugged. The great retreat letter posted
when Origin closed the Ascension message boards was another consideration. But there
is just something special about Lord British droning on about virtues.
Click on Image for 7.69 MB MOV
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