Mech Warrior 2
1998-02-10 Staff | Hey why buy heavy gear? Its all here....
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Hellfire
1998-02-09 Staff | Diablo Expansion set... Fixes some of the diablo problems... I am still pretty lukewarm on the whole isometric game scene....
"But golly Gee Beave... its only $20 frigging dollars!", "I love you wally"
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Pro Pilot 98
1998-02-08 Staff | Pro Pilot? What does this mean you sexually harass the help and drink 10 pitchers of beer before climbing into the cockpit?
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Duke Nukem Jewelcase
1998-02-08 Staff | Read Box Review
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Sim City 2000 SE
1998-02-07 Staff | What do you do when you have nothing new? Repackage it and call it SE!
I have no idea how this is diffrent from the regular sim city 2000, but here
it is... one day I will check it out, as I have to admit to having simcity
2000 still on my hard drive... every so often I just think it's fun to build
a city and start a fire...
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LEGO Island
1998-02-06 Staff | This is the game for the younger crowd. Finally someone brings together the two things kids love most - legos and islands. A quote from a visitor to this site "my kids give this the rating of.... 'I would rather be in school'" I would like to point out that I have never played a video game that made me want to go to school... (I used to play pong hockey right hand vs. left hand for hours on end, so maybe I have a problem.)
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Birthright
1998-02-03 Staff | It's Sierra's Birthright to keep pumping out one crappy game after another... What happens when you run out of reasons for hunting orcs? You throw in a crappy strategy game to boot... Sierra does it again! New lows in gaming... they make a crappy game that spans two genres... the only thing missing is a sports scenario.
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Conquest Earth
1998-01-25 Staff | Howdy. Wondering why this old dog is back at the top of the recent reviews list? It's because I hate it that freakin much. I'm haunted by the misery that is "playing" this stain on my hard drive. Just as Operation is the "wacky doctor game", Conquest Earth is the "painfully navigate the tortuous interface game". We have fun here... We write some funny little reviews. You read them. Sometimes you buy a game. Fun.
Until someone releases a game like Conquest Earth. I'm being serious now - DO NOT BUY THIS GAME.
If you've been traumatized by an encounter with Conquest Earth, just remember: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. E-mail me if you need someone to talk to.
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Blade Runner
1998-01-25 Staff | An adventure game from westwood. You really do shape your own destiny in this game. Changing the way you interact with the various characters will change the way the story plays out... nice. I should mention that that pixellated blob is you, and that that other pixellated blob is a replicant - LOOK OUT! This game may be responsible for creating the beam of pink light that instantaneously transferred knowledge from space into my head. So - recommended.
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Atlantis
1998-01-25 Staff | ? Not sure... The rpgs are the hardest to have someone at the office sit down and review. And really is the idea of alantis a fresh one? I am sure this is the standard take... What would be a cool is if someone took the episode of the 6 million dollar man that starred william shatner and made that into a game about alantis. Shatner flew a space mission through a special cloud and came back touched, he could talk to dolphins and had other super powers. There was a lot of dialoge like "STEVE" (pause) "IF" (pause) "I" (pause) "could" (pause) "only" (pause)"get" (pause) "the dolphins in space..." (spitting) and there was some talk of alantis. Now that would be a game. Or merely the "William Shatner's Penis game". Either would be a sure hit!
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Agent Armstrong
1998-01-23 Staff | Platform game. Harder than most. Make sure to have a good game pad for this one!
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Descent I & II Collection
1998-01-23 Staff | These games make me vomit... so I can't recommend or not. 3dFX with Patch.
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Master of Orion II
1998-01-23 Staff | Popular Strategy game that I don't have time to look at...
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Streets of Sim City
1998-01-23 Staff | You are a pimp managing resources such as bitches. I think.
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War Wind 2: Human Onslaught
1998-01-23 Staff | I once dreamt that SSI invented a device that sucked the fun out of anything it was pointed at, then pointed it at warcraft.
I awoke to discover that, with War Wind II, my nightmare was a reality! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Also, I found myself transformed into a giant cockroach.
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Mage Slayer
1998-01-23 Staff | A gauntlet for the 90's. Sorta nice. More fun than Take No Prisoners, but not likely to rock your world. Don't take my word for it, though. You know you want it. Baby.
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SirVincealot's Diablo
1998-01-23 Staff | Diablo... was looking foreward to this one, but after a little bit of playing...
Boring... these isometric adventures all seems to have one thing in common boredom...
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Barbie Fashion Designer
1998-01-23 Staff | Buy it for your little girl, or because you "love" little girls... we won't tell anyone....
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Dream To Reality
1998-01-23 Staff | This is real easy, do you like tomb raider? Then you will probably like this. I thought tomb raider was okay... I thought a little less of this...
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Turok
1998-01-23 Staff | Hunt big lizards and feel good about your ass.. single player only...
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