The first thing we do when we arrive is get some free coffee and Billboard magazines.   "Do you know what the headline is going to read tomorrow?" I ask. 

"Police Withhold Name Of Fag Who Got Punched For Fear Chet Will Punch Him Again?"  Chet says and pretends to punch me, making me flinch and spill coffee on my chest.

"No," I say, "Kid Wykked Rocks E3!  Beats Led Zeppelin In Diablo 2 Before Jumping Former Supergroup In Flame Spitting Monster Truck."   But everyone's laughing too hard to hear me.